What have happen to me?

When I was in school, I don't really have much friends.

When I was in university, I have even less friends.

When I was in school, I am always at home.

When I was in university, I started to have some social life.

Now, I am working. I have a different social life with different friends than my university's social life.

Now, I experienced more of the so-called normal social life.

But...

Why do I feel even more lonely?

Why do I feel unmotivated?

my dearests...I think I am suffering of ...gee...i forgot what is it called...hmm...loneliness? desperation? no..not right...what is the word...hmm..i can't remember...in chinese, 'you yu chen'
Each time I try to cheer up but I can't seems to do that. I feel like nothing will cheer me up including food. So, i guess i wouldnt't become fatter.

What has happen to me?