Sunday, July 31, 2005

Down with flu

Has my health level really gone so low?

From flu and cough during my short teaching career to food poisoning during my permanent job and now, another flu hits me. My weight continue to rise due to the amount of food i consumed in the office. my colleagues really know how to eat.

this is not my biggest concern now.

i woke up this morning feeling worried. grandma mentioned something yesterday that makes me feel worried. She said she might not come back alive. The thought of that scares me. She is having an open heart surgery to make her feel better. otherwise, she will get tired easily and maybe, seizure ( i think that is what it is called) everytime she gets too excited or tired. koko, me and lynnwei will be having breakfast with her later. DimSum at Grand Palace Hotel.

I feel so helpless that i cant help her.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Someone to hold

Many times i feel like I want to hold on to someone. Not in a relationship type. Physically...Holding hands...snuggle together...put my head on someone's shoulder...

But I restraint myself. Why the restraining? Maybe because all these things seems to be meant for girlboy relationship and i am just one girl and there is no boy.

Often, i wonder what is wrong with me. My mum suggested that it is my weight that pushes ppl away. My fat looks. Ad yet i thought personality is all it takes. Then, a thought hits me. Attractiveness...that is it! I lack of attractiveness. the magnetisicm that draws ppl to me. It doesnt matter whether one is fat or ugly. As long as one has the attractiveness factor, he or she can get anyone at all.

I think attractiveness is something that one is born with and not something one can acquire. too bad i dun have the attractiveness.

ARGH...realisation of another of my weakness...low self esteem...urgh!

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Advice is for listening

" Just write in to any companies. In fact, write in to all the possible companies that you think you can work with. Don't worry about anything like your results. It is all up to those who look at your resume to decide if they want to use you. if they think you are good enough, they will employ you. Right now, they will only look at your qualification and results. After a few years, it is experience that counts. "

That is what I told a friend when she asked for my advice.

A few weeks back, a not-really-close friend called me to ask for some advice regarding her results. I was suprised because I really don't know her well at all. In fact, we don't even talk to each other before. So, you can see how surprised i was. I told her about what I did and I guess that is that best I can do since I don't really know anything much. She called back to tell me that she did what I told her and she got what she wanted. I was happy for her.
A few days ago, she called me again to ask me about something else. I, again, don't really know much so I don't think I help in any way.

A few nights ago, a different friend called me to ask me for my advice on job-hunting. Quoted above is the condensed version of what I have told her.

Natural instinct is that when one ask for advice, one will follow the advice. I never really thought about the person who give the advice. How will this person feel if this person finds out that his or her advice is not being followed? Nothing much I guess. Maybe I am wrong...


gohyie: good morning, andy chia & co.
caller: good morning. My name is XX (name is not included to prevent any legal actions..haha). I am a fresh graduate and i would like to ask if there is any vacancies in your company...
gohyie: XX! It's me. Sorry le. I dont know who to pass you to know if there is any vacancies. The receptionist is not around so I really dont know. Why dont you just write in?
caller..XX: Oh! i see...I have been calling a lot of companies for the whole morning. none of them have vacancies. how come you are the receptionist?
gohyie: oh...why not u just write in? they will call you when they have vacancies. i am just helping out at the front desk. why not i give you the mailing address of this company so that you can write in?
XX: ok...sure
gohyie: it is ......(address)...
XX: oh..thanks...i will call back later to ask the receptionist, yeah?
gohyie: problem...

Makes me wonder if she heard the advice I told her.
A few minutes later,

gohyie: good morning, andy chia & co.
XX: goo...
gohyie: STOP! wait... i will get the receptionist for you. just give me a second.
Receptionist: good morning. yes, how may i help you? ...bla bla bla...(basically telling her to write in)...

This makes me wonder...have I wasted all my saliva telling all those things to her for nothing? She needs someone else to tell her off? Hey, I should be a someone else too...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

First night on a balcony...

Another one of my never-been-there-before places has become i-been-there-before place.

Tonight, I went to Balcony with three of my colleagues.

At first, we went to Al a bit...drink a a bit....the whole process took us one hour plus...A huge conclusion from it is that our main topic is always about work...cham!

Then, we went to Balcony...Nothing much happens....We sat there for nearly an hour long... I had a! a tumbler of red red it is ladies night...hehe...

Honestly, I cant see the point of ppl sitting around watching each other drinking...Around 11.45, ppl started to crowd the dance floor....I was kind of disappointed because there wasnt much ppl dancing..cant see any action going on...Then, when we left the place, I saw that a lot of ppl are actually dancing le...Which only means that the spot I have sat all that time is actually only good for admiring the little sharks they have in their big aquarium...

Kinda of feeling tempted to boogie on the dance floor....but...I am not a good dancer...In fact, I realised that I only know how to shake my booty...and it ends there....nothing no point of dancing cause I only know one section of the art of dancing...hand movement..leg movement...I have no idea about it all...That is why I wouldnt dare to dance in public...

My first experience with disco that how to call it?....was with Mok...He showed me how he danced on the floor of Prom 2001. I was startled at that time. and then the dancing bug got me...I got pretty good dancing in my bedroom till I told Dennis about me dancing...Weirdly, from that time onwards, I dun think i can dance at all...What happen? I have no idea at all...Weird...

Looking forward to another trip to balcony....not as bad as i thought it would be...Not advisable for those who hates smoke and loud noise...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Bao Bei

My new nickname...It has grown on me...I dun really mind anymore...Kinda of mind about it in the first place but is ok liaw...

It started when my colleagues funnily mentioned that the senior assistant is very affectionate to me. So they started to call me her 'Bao-bei.' So, now, I guess it sort of stuck with me..

Got a scare just now when i heard my senior assistant mentioned that she will go home to hug her 'bao-bei' tonight. I had to remind myself that she is most probably talking about her pet dog at home...phew...relief!



Finally, after two months of hard labour, it is finally over. I finally dont have to work overtime. Hehe...

Tonight, I will be going out to meet up with my colleagues and we will be partying to celebrate the end of the peak season.

A thought pop up....Shit! I still have a client that I need to handle after peak season...very troublesome case to handle...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

"Fang Fei Zi"

Can someone tell me what does that mean?

Easy...Someone just left you hanging to do something else instead of the something promised earlier.

I am simply very angry because i showed my dedication to my FAMILY and instead I get the aeroplane. Yeah! How "wonderful"! This is what I get for giving up my time and money.

Note that I am putting the blame on myself. Maybe I should change my priority. Apologies from any party will not do anything. I wish I can say 'Dun find me, I will find you" But i cant. Cause I probably wouldnt find you at all.

I find this really ridiculuous. What the f*** is what I wanted to say now.

Is it because I never have a temper before? So easy to be bullied around? Easy to be boss around?

This is the reality now. I am just keeping it all inside. Dont go thinking that you are all superior and all. Just because I dun go caring what you are doing to me, it doesnt mean you can go do anything you like.

Now, is it that scary? The one who gave the worries....I was letting off my are not in danger....Nor am I severing my connection with you...You are most probably sitting comfortably at home using your laptop at this moment. Me? I am outside. Where? Does it even matter? My mum thought that I am working overtime at the office.
Honestly, I was going to work. But I decided not to.
Just dont do it again.

Remember "peng you se me dou ke yi" It certainly applies to you. jJst there is no friend. Even i am not sure what is it.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

ok...a sudden rush of photo activity in my blog now...hehe...this is taken in my office...actually is the upstairs of my workplace. Everyone is there except for the boss (who is the photographer) and another girl (who went to get the free ticket for initial d)....We are having a birthday there are plenty of food on the table... graduation picture...Hohohoho.....I hate the shape of my lips, btw...that is how my lips will look like when i am too excited or to control that

The many faces of ppl....

Finally... my colleagues have opened up to me...they are being to be comfortable with me...Then they revealed to me hw dangerous is the office...

Scary no 1: She is inconsiderate and dont know how to handle her subordinate. She said the meanest thing and this causes the others to want to quit the job. For me, I thought she was fine till I heard about this. Then my thoughts starts to go deeper. Feel like every word she said is very mean. But if I dont go and care about it, I wouldnt feel anything, right? So, why put myself thru this kind of torture?
Scary no 2: She is a two-faced person. One angelic and one evil. She will only be nice to you when she wants to and will put all the blame on you if there is a mistake. She is the one who wants to push all the responsibility to others so that she will have none to worry about. For me, I have not experienced the evil side fo her so I will try to be careful.
Scary no 3: This person has no temper. Never scold, just ask whether we are ok or not. But beneath that, he is one hell of a person. Never try to cross his path for he will make sure you will suffer for it. None of us dare to do so....scary...the most scariest of all....I will definitely not do anything to make him angry....

Office suddenly become a scary place. but I think it will make it more interesting. What is an office if it doesnt have all those scary elements? We are only humans. These kind of stuff exist whether we like it or not. The best way to get along peacefully is to be careful not to do anything that will hurt anyone...