Is It Gone?

Has we reached the point where we no longer has anything to talk about?

From the very beginning, I dread for this moment. The moment we dont even say a word. The moment I start to feel bored and wish you will do something. The moment I dont know what you are thinking.

What will become of us?

It seems that it is the end of us. How can this be the ending? I dont understand.

Do we let it fade or should we try to rekindle it?

I want this to work. I want it to last. I want it to grow to a whole new level. I wish for more.

~~~ An inspiration in the car a day ago ~~~
~~~ Purely imagination. No ulterior motive ~~~
~~~ Honestly it has no meaning ~~~
~~~ Pure crap ~~~

I am at the right age le!

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Rejuvenation

It is amazing how rejunevated I am after the trip to Brunei. I guess I miss being with family. Deprived of love..Hehe..

Wanted to activate my handphone roaming function but then the operator guy told me that since my registered line is less than one year, I have to pay RM300 for deposit...(shit!) so I ended up not activating the roaming function. Sigh!

Left Miri in a hurry on Saturday afternoon. My international passport can be used (phew!). So I am definitely ok with my Singapore trip. Otherwise, I will be in deep trouble...

Had dinner at Lucky Restaurant for Father's Day celebration. I was so full...

Chopstick with fork and spoon

Mixture of East and West

Although my handphone cannot roam, it still works cause it has a camera function. Too bad the pic quality is not good enough to become a hard copy. Sigh...So, anyone want to get me a digicam? Hehe...

After the dinner, went to Hua Ho to look around. The place has really upgraded itself. Explored the "diva's charms." The styles are really mixed... Frilly dresses and leather bracelet...Got to shop there someday...


The next day, we went to Emperor's Court to have dimsum buffet.






After the dimsum, Dad hurried me to the car so that we can be on the way to Miri.

Giant Koi attacking the police traffic

Arrived at Miri and immediately clean up the house (ordered by Mum) lazily. Wash the car after that. But I think I didnt do a really good job cleaning it...

Went to buy Jinnwei's present with Tomato and Nanotay. A Quiksilver wallet...Cause he doesnt have one now...:P

Met a number of people...Two commented that I look different now. But I dont feel like I have changed a bit...

Question to ponder upon --> Have I really changed?

Father's Day

Still got plenty of work to do...I must try to concentrate and finish it all up fast...

In the midst of all this, I found myself forgetting the fact that my result is out today...Only until 5pm, when i reached for my beg to leave (to pick up jinnwei...i came to work after that) when I remembered. Heart thumping...Head swimming....Dizzy...Anxiety....I think my hands shook a bit...Guess what? i passed it!

A little disappointed but relieved. Disappointed because i am aiming for a distinction. But a pass will do. Jinx la! Cant afford to fail 'cause a lot of money is spent on this.

Now thinking of how to take the remaining four exams. If i rush to take all of them, i might end up failing 'cause it requires a lot of studying. Not only that, my mentor program requires me to do certain amount of Continued Professional Development hours and studying for the exams can be used to satisfy this required amount of hours. So, it will means that I should take only two units every year.

Although the due date for the tax return submission is getting nearer and my assignment is not getting any less, I still need to celebrate Father's Day le...

Actually, I have gotten the permission to drive to Brunei from Mum...Estatic liaw..But then, Dad text me to tell me that he will be driving me to Brunei. WAD?! Nooooo~~~~!!! Seems like they dont trust me to be able to drive all the way to Brunei's home. Sigh! What to do? One day i will attempt to drive to Brunei somehow...

Actually thinking to have the intended buffet at Marriott for Father's Day since we missed out on it during Mother's Day...But, it wasnt meant to be. Going to makan at Brunei...At least it gives me a chance to test if I can still use my international passport.

The story of why i am worried to use my international passport - Way back in 2004, i misplaced my international passport and so i went to make a police report. This caused me to lose an opportunity to go to London, watch a movie premiere, and mingle with the celebrity for FREE. Hear this! FOR FREE! Anyway, i went to make a restricted to Brunei only passport and approximately two months after that, I found my international passport stuck in between on magazines in my brother's room. No idea how it got there! Btw, I remembered that the day i went to collect my restricted to Brunei passport, it was pouring cats and dogs and Miri is flooding. i drove right into the whole mess and had to wade in the flood to get my passport. It was so freaky cause everywhere is flooding...So, I am not sure if I can use this international passport so I guess it is time to check it out tomorrow....

I usually use the restricted to Brunei passport cause I was just going to Brunei...Save the trouble but now must test the international passport 'cause I am going to Singapore. Dont want any trouble when I want to enter Singapore.

Under pressure

As the due dates drew nearer.... pressure keeps on building up...

Due date for the release of CPA exam result...

Due date for the submission of tax returns...

So pressured le...

World Cup is here again..I can hardly remember the previous World Cup...But I think I remembered that it was at Japan/South Korea...Who was the winner? I have no idea...Hehe... Very clueless...Been trying to watch the matches but find myself getting sleepy and bored after ten minutes...Shows how uninterested I am in sports...Give me another half an hour and I will be sleeping...

Did something today that I dont really mind but the rest mind. Karen, you know wat I am saying. The fact is that i dont mind helping her do all the paperwork. hey! Ms Wee did ask us to give our support. So I gave her my support. It is a 5 hours work and today I seriously concentrating on my work...her work but became my work. Yea, picking up ppl's shit is not great but I seriously dun mind if it helps her to get the figures correct. Better not mess with ppl's accounts...The point is I dun mind helping her out.

Hmm..I think I am becoming repetitive...Dun mind Dun mind over and over again...

Father's Day is on this weekend...Havent got any plan yet. Need to figure out something fast.

Jinnwei is back in Miri...Meaning I have someone else with me in the house. This has pro and con la..

Pro - Not alone. More security.

Con - I cant walk around the house half-naked. Strip my clothes as I walk to the bathroom to shower. Sleep in buff (ok, this is not true)

Dun mind (again) that he is here anyway... :P

Argh

Firstly...I am pissed off because I cant seems to view my own blog...Sigh...

Secondly...I saw something that made me really confused and frustrated. Which then lead to me to be really moody the next day (Thursday). I really felt like screaming my head off and curse whoever who stepped on my tail. I was so frustrated that I had my lunch with Mum and Dad 'cause I know they will not ask me anything. After lunch, I still felt really moody that it started to affect my work as well. At one point, I felt really frustrated that I was dizzy and ready to vomit whatever that might still be left in the stomach.

Left early that day 'cause had a date with Jeng. We had dinner, watch the Davinci Code and had a drink at CoffeeBean. Had a really long chat...refresh our memories...gossiping...

I felt much better today... Another feeling affect me today. The feeling of being left out...The feeling of unable to mix in...

Is it really just stress that really got to me?

Damn...

I want to have an early night off

When Mom realised that I have been consuming way-too-much Pop Mie, I was ordered to changed my breakfast menu to eggs...


So, I now eat hard-boiled eggs with dark soy sauce with black pepper. No, I dont like half-boiled eggs. Thank you.

~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~

What is it like to like someone? To have a crush? To have infatuation?

I think I am infatuated with U.

I feel jealousy when I see U pay more attention to someone else. I feel bliss when U give me some attention and concern. I think of U when U are not around.

(gosh...it is tough writing stuff like this)

As I rediscover and change myself all over again, I am afraid that the new me will scare U away. The old me, I fear will never gain Ur attention. It is so frustrating for me to think about this. To decide what to do to get U to like me as me, not a fake me.

Ur experiences worries me. My lack of experience stunt me. I am afraid of the similiraties of your past relationship with what I do. Whatever that might remind U of Ur past. Afraid of anything that might cause U to dislike me.

(I cant find the right words la....)

How can I get U to notice me? To like me? To accept me?

Why am I thinking of U and what will U feel when I made the resolution to think of only me and just me if I ever involve in another relationship?

Am i really this willing to sacrifice myself all over again?


I give up!

Have an idea to write about this a few days ago. Been in my mind for days and I seems to overflow with ideas for it. But once I wanted to write about it, it just wouldnt come out. So, I decided that I should put my ideas into words...So, I have been struggling to find the right words and feel...It is really tough. I think my braincell count decreases a lot over this.

Tell me what you think.

Selamat Hari Gawai

As expected, I will be working on Gawai Day. No surprise.

However, due to lack of sleep and stress at work, I find myself getting weaker. Health worsen. Today, after feeling completely moodless, I was so pissed off regarding my assignment that I felt dizzy and nauseous. That was how pissed off I was. Then, it surprises me that I can find food to be unappetising nowadays but I still managed to get more fats...Yes, indeed, I think I am getting fatter. Honestly, I am staring at my legs now and they are huge...layers of fat!

Ok, this must be very boring la...Better stop...

Anyways, watched X-Men 3 just now. A last minute decision. Actually planned to go home to have an early night off but found myself at the cineplex to watch a movie. Judging from the clock now, I think I will once again sleep at 1am...At least I dont have the obligation to wake up and go to work at 8...Can sleep in a little longer...Haha...

The movie is good. I enjoyed it. I think because I watched the previous two instalments, the movie make sense to me. Something like I know the characters and so I know what is going on. But I think watching the movie without watching the previous two instalments, one should be able to connect the story la...Crapping now...

Time to sign off...Gone is my wish to have an early night...