Thursday, June 01, 2006
I want to have an early night off
When Mom realised that I have been consuming way-too-much Pop Mie, I was ordered to changed my breakfast menu to eggs...
So, I now eat hard-boiled eggs with dark soy sauce with black pepper. No, I dont like half-boiled eggs. Thank you.
What is it like to like someone? To have a crush? To have infatuation?
I think I am infatuated with U.
I feel jealousy when I see U pay more attention to someone else. I feel bliss when U give me some attention and concern. I think of U when U are not around.
(gosh...it is tough writing stuff like this)
As I rediscover and change myself all over again, I am afraid that the new me will scare U away. The old me, I fear will never gain Ur attention. It is so frustrating for me to think about this. To decide what to do to get U to like me as me, not a fake me.
Ur experiences worries me. My lack of experience stunt me. I am afraid of the similiraties of your past relationship with what I do. Whatever that might remind U of Ur past. Afraid of anything that might cause U to dislike me.
(I cant find the right words la....)
How can I get U to notice me? To like me? To accept me?
Why am I thinking of U and what will U feel when I made the resolution to think of only me and just me if I ever involve in another relationship?
Am i really this willing to sacrifice myself all over again?
I give up!
Have an idea to write about this a few days ago. Been in my mind for days and I seems to overflow with ideas for it. But once I wanted to write about it, it just wouldnt come out. So, I decided that I should put my ideas into words...So, I have been struggling to find the right words and feel...It is really tough. I think my braincell count decreases a lot over this.
Tell me what you think.