Hiatus.. dont think so

I am thinking to go into hiatus but part of me refuse to do so. I dont know what to write these days. I have been thinking too much, feeling too much.

Been feeling a bit depressed... stressed out... emotional...

Money cant buy happiness but no money can also cause unhappiness. Money is such a sensitive issue. To be indirectly in charge of the home finances, I feel so pressured and ... under-budgetted. My envy to those people who has their elders to care of all the financial problems. My respect to those who can manage under tight budget.

Exam is drawing close and I havent really get much studying going on. I fear that I will not do well this time. Hopefully three weeks of no work will help me to study... Hopefully

The feeling of being misunderstood is draining my energy. I even gotten to the phase where I shake uncontrollably of frustration. My inability of communicating effectively? My taking-everything-people-say-seriously attitude? Darn..and he didnt know he hurt my feelings. Hmm... tears threathening to fall from the memory of what has happened

Tear-jerking Sunday as I watched One Litre of Tears. Should be a story that encourages people to live on but somehow, I still feel like dying. To feel the release that the heroine has when she passed away. If I have to go through what the heroine went through, I am not sure what will I do to pass the time while waiting for the time to die to arrive. Dont think I will have her strength to live on despite of all the complications from her disease. Dont think I will have anything that people will remember me by. The heroine has a whole loads of phrases and poems that encourages people to live on. How depressing for me!

Despise office politics.... Despise the deterioration of human relationship... I am too lazy to elaborate on this. Too f***ing sien to talk about.

Love and hate relationship with the car. The screeching of tyre when I brake. The warm air from the aircond under a hot afternoon and an extremely cold airflow when it is all windy and cool outside. The memories of the car with Grandpa and Grandma. Tears forming again.

I wonder if this is what happen when you live alone in a big house and there is no one who can share the burden. Sometimes I can go on the whole day without even saying a word.. because there is no one to talk to.


Worry no more... I am recovering. In a way... Trying not to think too much. Trying to laugh it all away. Looking forward to the BBQ this weekend.

But if really want to give me a helping hand. $$ for me will be great. Haha... oh! and a boyfriend, please... :P

Ok... I should get back to studying. Finally get some of the frustration out in the blog.